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In Tibetan Buddhism, monks spend hours, sometimes days, meticulously crafting intricate sand mandalas. Grain by grain, they create a masterpiece—each swirl and pattern symbolising the universe’s complexity and interconnectedness.

Then, in a purposeful act, they just sweep it away. Every detail, every vibrant colour, every carefully placed grain disappears in an instant. This ritual serves as a reminder that nothing lasts forever, encouraging an acceptance of change and a trust in the bigger picture.

As a parent, I find this lesson challenging. My eldest son has a chronic illness, and each flare-up, each hospital stay, each difficult moment makes me want to fix everything for him. At the same time, I see the impact on my younger son, who must navigate the uncertainties alongside us. It often feels like the foundation we try to build shifts beneath our feet, making it difficult to find steady ground.

Yet, when I reflect on the monks and their mandalas, I am reminded that change is not always loss. Every challenge my eldest faces strengthens him in ways I may not immediately understand. My younger son, too, learns patience and compassion through these experiences. Each moment—whether joyful or difficult—contributes to their growth, shaping them into who they are meant to be. My role is not to remove every obstacle but to walk alongside them, offering support and presence.

This perspective requires faith—not just in a higher power, but in the process of growth and resilience. Letting go does not mean giving up; it means understanding that even when things seem uncertain, something meaningful is unfolding.

Just as the monks do not mourn the sweeping away of their mandalas, I must embrace the transitions in my children’s lives, trusting that each experience has purpose.

Parenting, like a mandala, is an act of patience and purpose. We put our hearts into raising our children, knowing they will eventually step into lives of their own. And when that time comes, I hope to remember the lesson of the sand—that nothing is truly lost, only transformed.

Trish Jarvis